Well, I'm here to make up for it; with a Mother of all Posts: The Wedding.
For all 100% of you that don't know, my buddy Chris got married on 11/20. His wife is friend and a wonderful person. Chris couldn't have stolen a better chick. Kidding.... well sort of.
The agenda for the trip was to drive up to Sonoma on thursday the 18th. Chaz drove from LA and picked Jessie and myself up and we were on our way. We drove through the Tracy Outlets and almost stopped. Almost. We passed one of the biggest Bass Pro Shops around as well. We almost stopped. Almost. For a brief moment, we were lost in Oakland. We almost had a free interracial sex stop at the Richmond bridge. Almost. And by almost I mean she got out of her car and kindly bent over for us, while the Arab taking money looked on with delight. Anyways, we finally make it up to Sonoma and meet the guys, (we thought it was just going to be the guys) for dinner at Applebee's (Who goes to Applebee's for a bachelor party?).
Dinner was not with the guys. It was with the entire family. From BOTH sides. Ridiculous if you ask me. Then again, I wasn't the one getting hitched. After dinner we stood out in a parking lot for 15 minutes. Literally. Like we always have. Some things never change. Finally we went back to the apartment where we figured the festivities would start. WRONG! Kim had her cousin and sister stop by. So this bachelor party wasn't going anywhere anytime soon. Around midnight Kim and the girls finally left. Leaving us guys to do what we always do, play video games. After an hour of Chaz whooping ass with E-Honda, and I mean whooping ass, we finally decided it was time to get a lil booze.
So we grabbed some chairs and had a relaxing night of smoking cigars and drinking Four Locos. (Warning- Don't drink two Four Locos. It will drive you insane.) We made some videos, did some confronting, and just had a great night. What started to look bleak and thin, ended up turning out to be really good.
The next morning we got around and us 3 left the rest of the gang and went to get lunch with another buddy of ours, Jon, who's house we would be staying at. After some delicious pizza, we drove back to Jon's place and chilled there for the rest of the day and enjoyed a nice family dinner. We decided that we had been locked up all day and wanted to get some fresh air so we went downtown to a bar. There, I met two fine Bud Light Models who gave me their "beads". After a round of drinks we came back to the house.
The next morning we woke up and found Jimmy. Jimmy as I understand, has always been a cool kid. After this trip, I don't know if we have the same standing with him. Anyways, while Chaz went to work on his Law, Jessie and myself tagged along with Jon's family to go and visit Armstrong National Forrest. It was nice to get out and see some beautiful country-land and spend time with Mother Nature. We got back early in the afternoon and were pleased one of our favorite movies of all time to be on TV, Grandmas' boy. We realized after the movie ended that we needed to get dressed for the wedding. So we quickly threw on our clothes and out the door we scrambled. The rain that pelted us for the weekend was a big deterrent in our arrival at the wedding. Although we arrived in time for the wedding, by 2 minutes, the rain was a bitch.
Chris came down and his men followed. Her bridesmaids filled the altar as well. Then Kim came in and the ceremony started. Then it was over. In 12 minutes. 12 Minutes!!!! We were excused out to the bar while they set up the dinner tables. After about 45 minutes of mingling, the tables were set up and we were seated. The food wasn't half bad and with all you could drink wine, it made for an eventful evening. Talon gave his best man speech. Did alright. Finally we were asked to join them for some dancing. Now, most of the guys had been drinking. Some harder than others, ahem, and others chose not to drink, ahem. Either way, the DOP made its presence known as we mosh pitted our way to fame, spilling countless glasses of wine on our clothes and on the dance floor. The highlight of the dancing may have been when we started a 30 person train. Legit.
The wedding ended and we cleaned up. I went with Dome to drop Grandma off at her daughters house in Berkeley, leaving Chaz, who at this point was trashed, with Jessie who had taken Chaz's keys. Literally. Anyways, Michael and myself made it back to the hotel where the after party for us guys was going on. Except nothing was going on. Everyone was dead tired from the long week. Michael eventually had to leave and when informing the guys that he was staying with them in their room, the guys proceeded to ask him for payment for his share of the room. Most. Awkward. Haggard. Moment. In recent memory. Jessie and myself were starved so we proceeded to hit up In and Out on the way back to Jon's place. Monica wasn't working which made me limp. By this time Chaz was sobering up but he still had the sack to flip my burger onto my shirt with Jessie's straw. I almost cried special sauce I was laughing so hard. They call it drying. Anyways, we got back home to Jons and Jimmy, the once angel he was, decided to give Chaz some brownies stuffed with the grass. Let's just say that the next morning was probably one of Chaz's worst mornings in recent years. The guy looked horrible. We packed up our stuff and headed home. Chaz got some much needed sleep and soon we were back in Visalia.
Nobody died on the trip. Nobody was hurt. Nobody bitched and moaned, besides Dome, go figure. Nobody stole someone's chick. Basically, we were a happy family. And we were. But it's sad to think, that it took a wedding to bring us all together. I guess the times are changing. We soon may find ourselves far away form each other. Longing for a reunion. Much like the one we just had.
Pt. 1
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