Preface

To those that have happened to stumble across this frenetic and almost assuredly random blog, let me say this. Everything happens for a specific reason and maybe you are supposed to read the thoughts that travel inside my head.

Now, if I could place my thoughts on here for you to read, maybe, just maybe, you could reach into the inner depths of my soul, and see what it's like to be me. Even then, thoughts can only tell a small part of the story. To finish the story, you have to read it. To read it, you must write it. To write it you must have the will to do so. Writing isn't for every average Joe. Writing is hard. Trust me. Try it for yourself. Try to sit down and talk about yourself in a manner that not only allows you to say "your thoughts, feelings and emotions", but conveys the message to those that will read it. Once you have done that, you will be able to understand my struggles.

I am Charles Adam Brumley. For the sake and purpose of this blog, I will go by Adam. I was born on October 21, 1986 and have lived in Visalia, CA my entire life. I have been raised in church and have adopted many of the beliefs ad backgrounds of the church, so my viewpoints may stem to come from that angle. Having said that, nothing is off topic for me. Nothing. I look at everything from an equal playing field. The writing seen here may or may not reflect my beliefs, but may simply be something that just had to be said.

Writing is something that I see in the future. Writing for a specific purpose that has yet to be shown to me. For I am a man of thoughts (Hence the title of my blog). The one thing that I hope to accomplish with writing this blog is actuality of myself. I want this to reflect my personality as a whole. Now for those of you who have stumbled across this and for some reason were intrigued enough to still be reading this, my personality fits my persona. My greater than life ego goes along with my big physical features. Even though I am a man, the little boy inside of me still shines through it all.

The boy inside has shaped the man on the outside into a human capable of love, laughter and trust. The eccentric lifestyle honestly portrays the man on the inside. And as the man grows out of his childhood and enters the real world, he faces many battles. Battles the go from the inside out and back inside. For life has its ups and downs, good times and bad times, proud moments and embarrassing ones; but one can only assume so much without finally hitting the nail on the head.

In every "situation", the realness of every question, choice and answer seems to loom large. What a mockery to the world is it to live life as a lie. To live life faking it to your parents, your friends and to me. You are even lying to yourself. I want to be as real as the world around now. Actions that can be touched, cried over and even changed. A world full of lies is a world as fake as Heidi Montag. Even though these are my thoughts, I don't want people to feel weird. My remarks as a person will come from the heart but in no way, are my thoughts meant to be hurtful and taken the wrong way. Yes I am honest. Yes the truth hurts. But what good is life if its all for naught? If this were to be a lie, something that meant absolutely nothing to me, then all I have done is waste yours and my own time.

Constantly thoughts plague my mind in swarms or herds. Questions, problems, or simple thoughts invoke the brain. The mind goes along a course that is ever changing. A sort of roller coaster that is constantly needing improvements. For there are loops, twists and sudden drops that the mind seems to track. As you read this, your mind is traveling faster than a man who realizes that his zipper is down and checks it (Many of you will now proceed to check your pants) . What can we take away from our thoughts? Can we at all? Or are these thoughts meant to sit and rattle and follow your every step?

Throughout the day, my mind travels forwards and backwards through time only to find myself standing in the exact same position I left it.

Here.

Adam