Getting the Girl

Lets get down to business. How do we get the girl of our dreams? Does she simply appear out of nowhere or do we have to sift our way through the garbage to find the jewel?

Like anything in life, hard work, tears, struggles and sometimes failure, will have to be put in before that right girl comes into your life. Not too many things in this world come free and let me tell you, women are not cheap! Whether they are introduced by a mutual friend, you have a class together or met at a club, the first impression with a female is a very important and crucial part in either hitting it off right away or getting shot down.

A simple greeting is usually the best way to start things off. Some people choose to hug, most give a firm handshake that is not to hard (If you see each other at a bowling alley, don't go for the hug when she lays out an open hand for a handshake. Especially if your bros are watching in utter disbelief. It's very awkward. Trust me. Been there and done that. ) , while others give the head nod and say "What's up". The manner in which you hold yourself will lead her to believe one of three things about you. Either A), you are a genuine guy and she should take the time to get to know you, B), you are totally fake and she should just end it now, or C), she has a mixed reaction and needs to find out more information about you.

Very early on in the interaction amongst yourselves, you will have a good idea of what option she is leaning to choose. If she starts getting personal with the topics of conversation, then it's probable that she believes you to be genuine. If she walks away or quickly changes topics, it's a good chance that she doesn't want it to go any further. Lastly, if you find the conversation still hanging around with no real meaning or depth, it's a good chance that she is confused and not sure what to think. You may need to step up to the plate and swing for the fences. Or else you may never sniff second base.

A rule that I believe all men should adhere to, is not to dive into personal stuff right away. It is ok for you to beat around the bush. But for now, wait to get in it. Hoping to score isn't necessarily going to help you out. Then again, some girls are down for the get down. Avoid talking about things that are controversial. Nothing will ruin your chances more than getting into a debate about whether or not the health care package is good for the economy or not. Gay marriage. Stay away unless you are looking into having that as your only choice for a relationship. Abortion is for some people. Females don't want to hear about close hangers and being pushed down a flight of stairs.

Effort. I can't preach enough about this. Relationships, friendships or marriages will not work without a consistent effort. Both sides have to give and take. In order to get the girl maybe she wants to hang out all the time, so you need to plan accordingly. Or maybe she wants to hang out once every few weeks and take it slow. Whatever vibe she is giving off, take it and obey it for the time being. Don't try to pressure her into doing something that she doesn't want to do. Forcing girls into anything usually flares up their hormones. Avoid hormones at all cost.

For instance, I used to like this. She always wanted to hang out. So I made plans with her to do so. Then however, things changed between us and it wasn't like it used to be. So I had to make some changes and had to stop calling to hang out. What ended up happening? Nothing ended up going anywhere. Was it because I changed my strategy? Did she simply not like me anymore? Or maybe it just wasn't meant to be. I still don't know...

I am a fan of letting the girl dictate early on where things end up going. Yes, this hasn't worked out for me in past, but I feel that letting her feel like she is in control, will make the mood easier. She feels that you are trusting her by allowing her to call the shots. She may feel that you are opening up to her and making yourself vulnerable to her. Ask any guy, they hate opening up. Who likes to be out of control and vulnerable? Maybe Ron Jeremy, but not me.

There will come a point where you as the man will have to stand up and ask her out on the date. And once you have the reins back, it's full throttle pedal to the metal action.

Well hopefully...